thumbs down on the iPhone bumpers

Sure, Apple can seem arrogant at times, but usually can get away with it, based on the "it ain't bragging if it's true" logic in their world of reality distortion fields. But when Steve Jobs made his condescending remarks last month, suggestion their hardware problem was the result of users being too stupid to know how to hold a cell phone properly, the emperor's clothes were entering severe unraveling mode.

My feeling was mostly one of disappointment. I've been using Apple products since the days of the Apple II, and have the greatest respect for both their imaginative engineering and no-compromises approach to usability and beautiful design. But you can't piss on your users too long and get away with it.

Their announcement to give away free bumper cases as a temporary fix sounded like a good idea - until mine arrived. My only surprise was that it was branded as an Apple product; to say it is a less than useless piece of shit would be an insult to turds everywhere. First of all, it came in a molded bubble pack so tightly vacuumed down that it was difficult to open, even with a razor blade. Removing it resulted in one corner getting bent enough that it took me a few minutes of bending and struggling to get it in shape to even fit over the phone; I was lucky to get it out of the case at all, and suspect others may have damaged theirs in the process. Once you get it on, the beautiful aesthetics of the stainless steel band are gone, and the once-lovely proportions of the case have degenerated into something more resembling a used hockey puck.

And it won't work with my charging dock any more! So I took it off, and doubt it will go back on.

Dumb fucks; it is going to take more than simple damage control to make this right with me. Apple gets plenty of flak for high prices, but usually they are a fair deal, since their products are much easier to use, require less time keeping them running, and also have the element of elegant beauty. Even something as mundane as opening the packaging of a new Mac can be thrilling, because of the incredible attention to detail that goes in to every aspect of their products.

So what went wrong? Were they trying to rush a flawed product to market? (Two, if you count the bumper case). That's my guess; if they had spent a little more time doing field testing, it would have been quite apparent there was a serious issue with the antenna shorting out. I find it most unfortunate their testing was so sloppy.

As for me, I'm probably going to put a half inch of duct tape over the problem area and be done with it. Duct tape is the very opposite of the legendary Apple design elegance, which I find a fitting reminder of how arrogance and hubris led to the downfall of many a once-great empire. Even an Antenn-aid would be too nice to cover this flaw.

Will I go to the Android? Probably not for now; I still like most aspects of the iPhone, which has enriched my life in many ways. But if I rattle off a feature list, at the very bottom would be, "and you can also use it to make phone calls. Sometimes."